Apologies

Okay.
I wasn't there the first time.  I knew.  I hadn't moved out of state yet.  And I wasn't there.
I called, you told me what it was, but I didn't really understand.  It was too much to take in.  I disappeared.

So.
Another friend called.  "You may not want to be my friend after I tell you this."
I sit there on the phone, at work, thinking there wasn't anything that would cause me to stop being her friend. She tells me her story.  I tell her, "so what?  I don't blame you!"  And we move on.  Where was that attitude with you?

Then.
There I was.  Trying to be single again.  Trying to be a single mother.  Living with my parents because I couldn't support the three of us.  Working a full time job, but not having a clear plan for the future.  I was depressed.  Probably more so than I am aware, even now looking back.  I was sad and lonely.  I was in a situation where I felt the pressure to be what I wasn't...who I wasn't.  What I saw in you, I couldn't reach in myself.

And.
I move.  I try life back where it fell apart.  I learn to support three people.  I learn to be who I want to be.  To live life the way I want to.  I rediscover me.  I find my inner strength.  And change comes again.  We move, again.  And once again, I am back in my parents home.  But this time I am strong enough to be me.  Strong enough to handle this twist in life's road.  And strong enough for you.

Now.
It's back and I'm back and we are back.  And though this time I am here, I don't know how to be there for you.  I don't know the right words to say, or what words not to say.  I want to be a support.  I hope I am a support.  But I still don't really understand.  It's not too much to take in though.  I am ready this time.

My Point.
I failed as a friend the first time.  I will not fail this time.  So know that I've got your back.  When you need a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to bend, I will be there.  We've had an odd friendship over these past 25 years, filled with some amazing times.  And I know we will make the next 25 unforgettable!